life and lemons

Just as life becomes manageable something comes along and shuts you down.
makes you cry.
Hurts your heart.
Gives you this daily feeling of anger.
For year's I have put up with a person who has put me down.
talked behind my back.
told me she loves me.
Treated me like her own.
and now like nothing ive been kicked out.
Pushed aside.

Holidays have always been a time to look forward to seeing my family.
Now I dread seeing them.
They have absolutely torn my spirit of family.
For the first time in 20 years I don't feel like I belong.

this Christmas shall be a challenge.
But I wont back down.
I wont give in.
I'll make sure that I take each moment and grow from it.
Because someday I'll have my own family.
and I don't want them to end up like my own.