Best friend.

something i am not.
i try to live up to it.
love continuously and forever.
but who am I kidding.


People say that it takes 5 people to be proud of you after ONLY one has told you that they don't appreciate what you are about.


in my life I have had many friends.
and very few best friends.
its an important thing to have one person who you share everything with.
I am not very good at showing my all.
i give my all. 110%, but people never really see it.
i feel very unappreciated. and its hard to keep giving when you aren't getting.


I feel as though my heart has faced many trials and tribulations lately, and I still come out on top.
my heart isn't where it needs to be.
it has been so long now, that after awhile I stop believeing what is said about love and begin to make my own judgements about what people think of me.

Mandy, do you really care?
I can't even begin to understand why things happen the way they do.
I just know that I love with all my heart and people seem to continue to use that against me.

don't use me.
don't take advantage of my heart.
it has been broken to many times for me to just waste it.
I feel like being a best friend take a lot out of someone, and I have it to give.
my all.
but people seem to not appreciate what I give.
there is only so much I can give without getting.
see the words people say to others and how they appreciate them for nothing.
I feel that love is overrated these days.
all I have to do is be fake.
not a true friend....and people will love me?

i won't change.
not for this world.
I will no conform to what you call love and care.
I will love without ceasing.
continuously, always and forever.
no matter what.
My heart will love till my very last breathe.
and I will use that one to tell someone I love them.
a day should not pass where I know that I love someone with all of me.

Love as Christ loves.
thats a hard phrase to comprehend bc we compare ourself to Jesus Christ.
He is the only creator, maker, molder, savior, and messiah.
Love God, Love Eachother, and Love Yourself.
all else will come.

I love.
with all of me.
When it hurts to cry and you have nothing left where do you go.
God will carry us.
Best friends are important.
I feel like I am not the definition of one.
I am often jealous.
of the things unseen.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a states:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

when will we get it?
a best friend loves at all times.
this verse is so apparent of how we should live and love.
my love is forever, but it is often angered, jealous, and proud.
It protects the ones i love, trusts in friends who God has allowed me to trust, hopes for a better tomorrow, and preseveres through all the crap in life.
I am not the definition of a best friend.
but when it comes to love, mine is never ceasing.
i just need love, respect and appreciation.
I can't express how much love i give and how little I recieve.

when you measure yourself to being a loving person, what are you comparing?