friend[s]

i have recently become aware of my actions from the past year.
not something i am proud of but something i must deal with and except.
i have hurt someone close and dear to me.
and by dear i mean someone i have known for a couple of years now.
it feels like my whole life.

i constantly wake up crying, wondering and hoping that i can just make things right.
maybe not for myself but our friendship.
i have to be reminded that i cant do it alone and only God can heal the broken.
i have broken the friendship and allowed my greatest friendship to go downhill.
i was so blinded.
and no one wanted to uncover my eyes......

i love my friends.
i work hard to keep them going.
i try to hard.
i love to much.
and i am let down all the time.
that is just me.

but this person i have been for the past year to my friends was not me.
i missed out on a year/ season of an incredible friendship that i feel like i need to catch up on.
i have taken her for granted and i am ashamed.
i love this kid.
she is a wonderful friend, inspiration, and has never given up on me.

only God can heal the broken.
i cant worry about the past but only look towards the future.
i dont want to be someone i am not, nor ever want to be again.
selfish, angry, and bitter towards someone i love.

i just want to be mandy.
and that is good enough :)